Goodbyes

That little word can mean so much to some and so little to the other. It gives me a mini heartbreak every time I hear those little words, goodbyes. Because goodbye means that you are stopping whatever it is that you are having now, be it good or bad. Goodbyes, how do I put in words to show you how much it affects me. Well yes, it affects me in so many ways. How do I say goodbye to that someone that I love dearly, and move on with my life when I know how it affects him as much as it affects me. 

No, I couldn't bear the pain I feel inside when I say goodbye to someone knowing that he feels the same pain as I do. Not applying to only love relationship here, it can be applied to so many other forms of relationships. I just can't say goodbye to anyone that I have invested so much TLC to. How can some people do that? I always wonder why. I always believe that I never actually forget and get over someone, I just, move on with my life. I never get over. So whoever you are, that I have spent my life with, friends, lovers, best friends,  I don't forget about you. Never. Each and everyone of u will always be in my heart. I just move on with my life. 

To me, goodbyes are just a pathway to a new fresh beginnings. A room to start over. 

Here's to my kind of goodbyes!

I'm the happiest when I'm with you.

Yes, so happy. Only with you, I'm very happy. If this is not love, then what is it?

Mak said, "sometimes, love is not enough. Love is never enough". 

I wonder, maybe this is not what I want. Maybe it is what they want. 

But its for the greater good. Its for my future, the best for my life. 

And then, I will think back. Maybe its the right thing to do. 

But....

Is doing the right thing will keep me happy as much as I'm happy when I'm with you? 

I don't have any of the answers to my questions now. 

In time, I will have the answers. In time. 

After all, time will heal everything. 

Innit?

Our story is just another adaptation from a love song.

"We can make a million promises, But we still won't change. It isn't right to stay together when we only bring each other pain" - Mariah Carey.

"Its the way I'm Feeling, I just can't deny. But I gotta let it go" - Rihanna.

"Now I know what I don't want, I learned that with you" - Feist. 

"Whenever I hear goodbyes, It reminds me baby of you" - The XX

"Its you, its you, its all for you. Everything I do" - Lana Del Rey

"I want you to know, it doesn't matter. Where we take this road, someone's gotta go. But  I want you to move on, so I'm already gone" - Kelly Clarkson. 

5 years of us. I will miss you so much.

And then it comes again.

I have left this place so long ago. And the only reason I feel like writing again, is because I feel like I need to recollect myself. To get to know me better.

All this while I have lost myself with myself. I have lost track of who I am, people around me who really cares. I was blinded. It is not anyone's fault, but mine. It takes me years to finally realize this. I'm really glad i get to realize it now, at the the tender age of 21 years old. I'm not even 21 yet. Heck, 10 months to go. 

I wanna thank everyone around me who make me who I am right at this moment. My family, my friends, my lovers, my haters, my enemies and most importantly, myself for the past 20 years. 

Epiphany just bitch slapped me hard on the face. Real hard. This is not a wake up call. This is my talian hayat. Better make full use of it Wawa

You got me hanging on a string, honey.

When you look back, do you like what you see?

You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead.